Dear Z...

You warm my heart... daily! I went out for drinks tonight with the girls. Dad is away. At 9:43pm I received a Blackberry Message from you:

"Can't sleep.
Make it home before curfew.
And don't drink too much.
And don't you dare text and drive."

At 13, you are more fiercely protective than ever. I wish I could take all your worries away and wrap you in blanket of peace. You often text me after I have dropped you to school to make sure that I've reached home safely. You seem to quietly carry the world of worries on your young shoulders, despite my frequent reminders that it's my job to do the worrying, not yours.

It's become so evident to me that I am no longer immortal in your eyes. That saddens me. I would love so very much for you to still be worry free. My baby. My teenager. My baby.

And now I am home, and you lie sleeping soundly next to me, all long limbs, sinewy muscle and bone. You love the fact that you get to be here until Dad comes home tomorrow. I love the fact that you still want to sleep in my bed for I know the time will come when you no longer want to.

You aren't the easiest boy to sleep next to, starting off straight but ending up sideways with limbs strewn across me. Your need to have at least one body part touching mine at once so comforting and so infuriating. I feel sorry for your future wife. Last night I put a pillow between us and had an uninterrupted night's sleep. Tonight we will sleep with a divider, though I still lay my hand on your back and feel the slow rise and fall of your breath. My boy.

How I love you!

We lock horns more often than we used to but I constantly receive good reports on your behaviour when you are out. Your friends' parents say you are a dream, a polite child, so sweet. So, while we may have our moments, at least I know you 'export' well and know how to behave elsewhere.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that you're bad at home. Far from it. But, I suppose, as a teenager it is your job to test me, and you do test your limits from time to time. That doesn't prevent the sweet, sensitive, considerate boy from showing himself the rest of the time. I pray you never lose those qualities my angel.

Love,

Mum